Becoming a Grandma with Vitality

An Inspirational Cup of Jasmine Tea
We all dream of growing old gracefully. No one wants to live to be one hundred and spend their last years confined to a wheelchair, disabled and dependent on others. Many of us have our private dreams of a favorite Grandma or Aunt whose smile and arms were warm and comforting. Visiting them is an adventure back in time as they share their stories of hardships and blessings through the filter of God’s blessings on their family and personal lives. I can close my eyes and envision myself in an outdated kitchen bright with fresh picked flowers and warm smells of freshly baked bread or desserts. I listen, sipping tea and wishing the moment to continue indefinitely as I absorb the life and wisdom of this treasure chest God has given me in my elderly, silver-haired friend and confidant. In her natural humility, she may not even realize I have made her my mentor.

As my oldest child married and settled into her wonderful new life, I watched and prayed for them with some trepidation. I knew the time was fast approaching that would one day make me a grandmother. I took comfort in her sensibility to not have children too hastily. After all I didn’t feel old enough to be a grandmother. Our family joke was that I was permanently twenty-three years old, full of life and adventure, with just a hint of wisdom gained from my mistakes and from experience reading and applying the Bible to my life. My daughter was already over twenty-five herself, her three brothers were soon to pass me by. I wasn’t in denial. I was a responsible, professional woman. I was actively involved in my church. I loved my quiet times with the Lord and enjoyed a healthy lifestyle. Gardening was my favorite pastime and also my prayer closet. I loved to travel.

My former mother-in-law was the grandmother I wished I could model one day. I felt inadequate to step into her shoes and become the loving, supportive pillar she embodied. I trusted that God would give me His grace to enable me to be a unique and loving grandmother to the offspring that were sure to arrive some day as my four children grew towards becoming parents themselves. What would they call me? I just couldn’t imagine a fitting title.

Time passed and four years after my daughter married they were happily expecting their first child. My life had taken some unexpected turns and I found myself leading women’s Bible studies at church, promoted in a new job at a start-up telecommunications software company, and unexpectedly dissatisfied with a growing feeling that there was more that God wanted me to do for Him. I had experienced my dream of visiting Israel, the land where I had envisioned the characters in the Bible to come alive. It was exhilarating and life changing to visit several times after having nurtured my strong desire to go there for nineteen long years. Now, the moment that I had anxiously anticipated was upon me. I was going to be a grandmother!

A delightful change took place in me as the day approached. I likened it to a hormonal release of grand-maternal instincts. It was more wonderful than I could have ever dreamed to hold that precious bundle in my arms. “God is awesome”, I repeated over and over, whispering under my breath. Within three months of my first grandson’s birth the Lord had radically changed the direction of my life once again. I was preparing to resign my position at work, sell my home and move to Israel to marry a pastor I met there nine months prior. I was entering full-time ministry to the nations.

My grandson was only five months old when I tearfully kissed him good-bye to get on that plane. My joy and excitement for stepping into the destiny God had for me was not diminished by the separation from my family. We would remain close in spirit through our occasional visits and correspondence. I felt invigorated by the prospect of living in Jerusalem and soon beginning our ministry by traveling to Uganda three weeks after the wedding. I had no idea that our trip there would in effect be an adoption of hundreds of Ugandan children, ages infant to eighty years young—each a precious child of God.

My husband, Duane, became a father figure to many Israeli individuals and to those in university and ministry there in Jerusalem as well. He had three sons and six grandchildren of his own in California. He selflessly poured out his many years of wisdom and experience from his intimate faith walk with the Lord to all who came in contact with us. I was married to a treasure! Shortly after I had met him, those were the words God used to describe him as I was praying for my new friend and his ministry. I had no idea the depth and riches of that treasure at the time and even today I am still discovering them. We have been continually awed at how God has used us in parent-like roles in Israel and our general ministry. God's Precious Ugandan Children

During the following year we would receive a promotion from our Ugandan family to the honored status of grandparents. How I laughed inside at the thought of eighty year olds whom I respected for their wisdom and grace calling me “grandmother”. This same title I had been so intimidated by just a few short years before, I now receive as a symbol of God’s love poured out through me to those He counts as so precious. What an honor! No parent could ever be more proud than I was when walking down the streets of Jerusalem I hear a shout with a heavy African accent, “Mama! Mama Ruth!” from one of our dear African brothers.

Okay, so I’m no longer twenty-three. But the age fits the excitement and adventurous spirit I feel as I live out this life the Lord has directed for me to tread. I still gain wisdom on a daily basis from our travels, our trials and even from our grandchildren. We now have ten grandchildren between us and hundreds more in Israel and Africa. We have returned to the US and live near my children and grandchildren for the present. We look forward to meeting new children and grand-children along the way even as we continue to welcome them into our family. I have had the privilege of living my dream of sitting in a kitchen sharing a cup of tea with myself as the compassionate friend and mentor I had envisioned so long ago. My hair may not yet be silver and my humble kitchen not as romantic looking but God has used me in a role I never thought I could fill as He filled me with His grace and wisdom. I pray I will always bring honor and glory to our Father in heaven as I bear the title Grandma Ruth with joy.