In Your Presence, O God

Words and Music by Lynn DeShazo

In Your presence That's where I am strong In Your presence O Lord my God In Your presence That's where I belong Seeking Your face Touching Your grace In the cleft of the Rock In Your presence O God I want to go Where the rivers Cannot overflow me Where my feet are On the rock I want to hide Where the blazing Fire cannot burn me In Your presence O God I want to hide Where the flood of Evil cannot reach me Where I'm covered by the blood I want to be where The schemes of darkness Cannot touch me In Your presence O God

You are my firm foundation I trust in You all day long I am Your child And Your servant And You are my Strength and my song You're my song Seeking Your face Touching Your grace In the cleft of the Rock In Your presence O God In Your presence http://www.middle-east-pictures.com/middle-east/Cleft-Rock-of-a.htm

© 1995 Integrity's Hosanna! Music
Even as I read the lyrics I imagine the voice of Paul Wilbur singing this song. But this song always reminds me that Jesus himself is the Rock--cleft for me. Being in the place of basking in God's presence as Believers is such a privilege. It is indeed a gift. A gift given and paid for by the Blood of the Lamb, the sacrifice our Lord Jesus gave of His life. For believers it is a safe place, a secure place, a secret place where our heart is open and vulnerable to the God who understands. He accepts us as we trust Him with our lives. But to non-Believers it could be a place of terror. If we refuse to trust Him, we will not allow Him access into our lives to protect and keep us.

I once had a vision of being squished into a cramped crack in a huge rock. The jagged edges poked my sides and felt like they would scrape my arms and legs. I was afraid to move, balancing my weight on first one part of my body and then another. I was unable to be comfortable, unable to sit or stand on anything or straighten fully. Looking out of the crack into brilliant light, the darkness behind me seemed to ooze out of the jagged places. But at the same time I knew that I was being hidden in a safe place. The brilliant light was my assurance of God's nearness. But while I was drawn to the light, I was also afraid that it would overwhelm me.

As I reflect on this experience I understand that even the uncomfortable place was part of His presence. He is light, but He dwells in thick darkness(Psalm 18)--He is there, He is everywhere--but in this case it wasn't that He was where I was, but I was where He was. Wow! My flesh was not comfortable, my soul felt fear of the unknown, both the penetrating darkness and the brilliant light at the same time. I was afraid to relax or even to move--YET, I knew I was safe!

The experience causes me to sing these words with a completely different perspective. I want to be in the cleft of the Rock! No matter how uncomfortable, I know it is a safe place and I can only get there as He places me there. Jesus, our Rock, the Living Word of God can be found as we diligently seek Him. This year spend as much time as you can seeking Him as you read His Word. You will be amazed as He reveals Himself as He has promised.

But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. Deuteronomy 4:29

Becoming a Grandma with Vitality

We all dream of growing old gracefully. No one wants to live to be one hundred and spend their last years confined to a wheelchair, disabled and dependent on others. Many of us have our private dreams of a favorite Grandma or Aunt whose smile and arms were warm and comforting. Visiting them is an adventure back in time as they share their stories of hardships and blessings through the filter of God’s blessings on their family and personal lives. I can close my eyes and envision myself in an outdated kitchen bright with fresh picked flowers and warm smells of freshly baked bread or desserts. I listen, sipping tea and wishing the moment to continue indefinitely as I absorb the life and wisdom of this treasure chest God has given me in my elderly, silver-haired friend and confidant. In her natural humility, she may not even realize I have made her my mentor.

As my oldest child married and settled into her wonderful new life, I watched and prayed for them with some trepidation. I knew the time was fast approaching that would one day make me a grandmother. I took comfort in her sensibility to not have children too hastily. After all I didn’t feel old enough to be a grandmother. Our family joke was that I was permanently twenty-three years old, full of life and adventure, with just a hint of wisdom gained from my mistakes and from experience reading and applying the Bible to my life. My daughter was already over twenty-five herself, her three brothers were soon to pass me by. I wasn’t in denial. I was a responsible, professional woman. I was actively involved in my church. I loved my quiet times with the Lord and enjoyed a healthy lifestyle. Gardening was my favorite pastime and also my prayer closet. I loved to travel.

My former mother-in-law was the grandmother I wished I could model one day. I felt inadequate to step into her shoes and become the loving, supportive pillar she embodied. I trusted that God would give me His grace to enable me to be a unique and loving grandmother to the offspring that were sure to arrive some day as my four children grew towards becoming parents themselves. What would they call me? I just couldn’t imagine a fitting title.

Time passed and four years after my daughter married they were happily expecting their first child. My life had taken some unexpected turns and I found myself leading women’s Bible studies at church, promoted in a new job at a start-up telecommunications software company, and unexpectedly dissatisfied with a growing feeling that there was more that God wanted me to do for Him. I had experienced my dream of visiting Israel, the land where I had envisioned the characters in the Bible to come alive. It was exhilarating and life changing to visit several times after having nurtured my strong desire to go there for nineteen long years. Now, the moment that I had anxiously anticipated was upon me. I was going to be a grandmother!

A delightful change took place in me as the day approached. I likened it to a hormonal release of grand-maternal instincts. It was more wonderful than I could have ever dreamed to hold that precious bundle in my arms. “God is awesome”, I repeated over and over, whispering under my breath. Within three months of my first grandson’s birth the Lord had radically changed the direction of my life once again. I was preparing to resign my position at work, sell my home and move to Israel to marry a pastor I met there nine months prior. I was entering full-time ministry to the nations.

My grandson was only five months old when I tearfully kissed him good-bye to get on that plane. My joy and excitement for stepping into the destiny God had for me was not diminished by the separation from my family. We would remain close in spirit through our occasional visits and correspondence. I felt invigorated by the prospect of living in Jerusalem and soon beginning our ministry by traveling to Uganda three weeks after the wedding. I had no idea that our trip there would in effect be an adoption of hundreds of Ugandan children, ages infant to eighty years young—each a precious child of God.

My husband, Duane, became a father figure to many Israeli individuals and to those in university and ministry there in Jerusalem as well. He had three sons and six grandchildren of his own in California. He selflessly poured out his many years of wisdom and experience from his intimate faith walk with the Lord to all who came in contact with us. I was married to a treasure! Shortly after I had met him, those were the words God used to describe him as I was praying for my new friend and his ministry. I had no idea the depth and riches of that treasure at the time and even today I am still discovering them. We have been continually awed at how God has used us in parent-like roles in Israel and our general ministry.

During the following year we would receive a promotion from our Ugandan family to the honored status of grandparents. How I laughed inside at the thought of eighty year olds whom I respected for their wisdom and grace calling me “grandmother”. This same title I had been so intimidated by just a few short years before, I now receive as a symbol of God’s love poured out through me to those He counts as so precious. What an honor! No parent could ever be more proud than I was when walking down the streets of Jerusalem I hear a shout with a heavy African accent, “Mama! Mama Ruth!” from one of our dear African brothers.

Okay, so I’m no longer twenty-three. But the age fits the excitement and adventurous spirit I feel as I live out this life the Lord has directed for me to tread. I still gain wisdom on a daily basis from our travels, our trials and even from our grandchildren. We now have ten grandchildren between us and hundreds more in Israel and Africa. We have returned to the US and live near my children and grandchildren for the present. We look forward to meeting new children and grand-children along the way even as we continue to welcome them into our family. I have had the privilege of living my dream of sitting in a kitchen sharing a cup of tea with myself as the compassionate friend and mentor I had envisioned so long ago. My hair may not yet be silver and my humble kitchen not as romantic looking but God has used me in a role I never thought I could fill as He filled me with His grace and wisdom. I pray I will always bring honor and glory to our Father in heaven as I bear the title Grandma Ruth with joy.

Dancing with the Lord

Shalom Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I’ve had several ideas of late for sending out little nuggets of revelation the Lord has been blessing me with--but the timing hasn’t been right until now. So, today, I’d like to share a few thoughts with you on the subject of dancing (with the Lord).

Many people come to us asking prayer for the guidance of the Lord. Some ask, “How do I hear from God myself? How can I be sure it’s Him?” Well, that age-old question has yet to be answered by anyone but the Lord Himself. My experience has been: start with the Word of God, trust Him, and you will know that you know when the Lord speaks. Like some of you, I have heard from the Lord on many different types of occasions. There is no formula. And I don’t believe there is anyone who hasn’t had a misstep, thinking the Lord was speaking, when, later, it became evident He was not, or the timing wasn't right.

Does this mean we didn’t have faith to hear the Lord speak to us...that we were too fleshly, too sinful, too easily deceived? NO! This is all part of learning to trust the Lord. If we continue to trust Him, He will take our mistakes and make them beautiful, as if things were supposed to have been that way from the beginning. We must believe that He does, indeed, wish to speak to us, lead us, and “guide our footsteps.” But sometimes--often, when we most desire an audible voice from the Lord--He guides almost imperceptibly. He gives us choices so that we can learn our own hearts.

Also, like a father, He sometimes wants us to make choices by ourselves, just so He can bless us. Picture a dad asking his 8-year-old son, “Do you want the red bicycle or the blue one?” They are not exactly identical and his son has no clue about which will be of better quality. Dad just wants to give him the one he wants. I have encountered many Christians who are so concerned about missing God’s will that they are like a little boy who refuses to choose, and just says, “You know best, Father.” But the father’s joy a nd excitement over the little boy getting his heart’s desire is gone. These same people sometimes speak of “not putting God in a box,” or “quenching the Spirit,” voicing their fear of limiting Him--yet they are keeping Him from doing His heart’s desire. Well, what if the desire of His heart is to bless you by giving you the desire of your heart?

So what does all this have to do with dancing? I had a conversation with a couple of friends about how we are all learning to live by faith in new dimensions. The Lord directs our steps a day at a time, even one tiny step at a time. Comments like, “It would be nice to know where I will sleep in a few days,” are not uncommon in Jerusalem. God’s provision is quite often just in time, and not a moment sooner. What is the Lord trying to teach us? Or train us all for?

I shared with those friends that as a former successful and creative project planner, I have had experience with incorporating contingency plan s into a schedule, so that when just about everything that could go wrong does, the schedule can still be used with only minor adjustments. Good project plans always incorporate a list of risk assessments anticipated while making the plan, and are presented along with the plan to management, the customer and the workers. Any deviations affect the entire schedule. For many years, I have thought of the Lord as the ultimate project planner. He just doesn’t let us see the entire schedule, showing only a few of the details. His master schedule has it all. But today, I heard myself say, “He isn’t executing a project plan--He is dancing with us!” Wow, what a different perspective! He is dancing a new dance never done before, and He wants us as His partner.

Many years ago, before I had learned to dance, a friend of my husband asked me to dance at a wedding and I was petrified. I was self-conscious, quite clumsy and embarrassed, knowing I would step on his toes. He dragged me to the dance floor, and because he was such a good dancer, he led without any effort to follow on my part and we floated around the room. To this day, I cannot dance well, but for that short time, I felt like a graceful ballerina--all because the man could lead so well. Father God knows how to lead. He holds us close to Himself and we fall in step as we look into His face and flow with His movements.

I am one who has always fought low self-esteem. From the time I was a little girl, I have looked at my feet a lot instead of looking up. I have good peripheral vision (praise God!) so I don’t bump into things too often. This has affected me spiritually, as well, and God has spent many years building up my spirit through His Word. I have memorized many scriptures about God blessing our feet.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand. Psalm 34:23, 24.

The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. Habakkuk 3:19.  (some translations say 'skip upon the mountains'!)

Thou hast enlarged my steps under me that my feet did not slip. Psalm 18:36.

I have always been looking at my feet...but when you dance, you must not do that. Can you imagine what it would be like if those ballroom dancers were always looking at their feet? First off, you have to push away from your partner to see your feet. That makes it difficult for him to lead.

I see many in the body of believers keeping arm’s length from the Lord in order to tell where their feet might land, always worried about making a mistake. They are seeking God to show them what to do next instead of trusting Him and just flowing with His Spirit. This is a great lesson to me and gives me perspective as I minister with the Lord and my husband, and live my daily personal life.

Thank you, Lord, that you are such a patient and loving Abba, our Daddy.

If you are seeking the Lord to direct you and help you make decisions, picture yourself as a little one in Daddy’s arms as he carries you across the dance floor. Then, see yourself a few years older, standing on Daddy’s feet as he dances with you, teaching you to move with Him. Finally, see yourself mature, as He takes you by the hand and you let Him lead you across the dance floor, leaning into Him and flowing with Him. And even when you misstep, as you lean into Him, see how He continues the flow. This has to be a lot easier than studying the plan to see where your feet ought to land next. Hallelujah!

Blessings!